Monday, 11 March 2013
How to seduce a French Girl - France in London
Hello fans - How to seduce a French Girl By Wants to stay anonymous 16/11/2010 If I drew up my own list of 'Things to do before you die in France', I would undoubtedly mention 'Going out with a Frenchgirl' as my No. 1. Climbing the Eiffel Tower? Boring ! Visiting the Louvre Museum? Never-ending! If you really want a taste of France, just date a “petite française”. The fact is that if France is a fabulous gastronomic country, it is also a fantastic playground for anyone wanting to play the 'flirting game'. Brigitte Bardot, Isabelle Adjani, Juliette Binoche, Marion Cotillard, Eva Green, Audrey Tautou : between you and me, I am sure you have always wanted to flirt with a French girl, or at least dreamed about kissing one. Well it's time to act. A French guy is going to give you a push in this direction: take his tips and put them to good use! But above all, I would like to thank Monica Ainley – the author of the much-read article 'How to date a Frenchman' - on behalf of all Frenchmen, especially those living in London. In fact, I suggest we put together a Kitty and sign her up immediately to be our head of PR. If you haven't already read it, she manages to puts a positive spin on our "traits". Whereas we were once sleazy, we are now "not afraid of PDAs", we have gone from being chauvinistic to chivalrous... she doesn't just talk us up, she also gives an insight into quite what girls are looking for in a guy. She enabled us – and she should be awarded for that - to flirt with London demoiselles with complete self-confidence. Now, they no longer blush when we fondle them in the underground, nor push paying for restaurant or cinema as if their lives depend on this. Flirting is so simple now. Thank you so much Monica. Nevertheless, however much this article was hilarious and light-hearted, I found that it was dramatically unfair if British guys were not given such useful tips to date a French girl. I am thinking particularly about my former English room-mate who is desperately looking for a Parisian romance. He needs help ! This is why I have decided to share some of my favourite tricks - not all of them, mind, one must keep a competitive advantage – but here are 7 pointers that will make you say: 'Vive la France!'. Johnny Deep netted one. Well done. 1. Flirting in a nightclub As you will not have a lot of French friends who introduce you to 'demoiselles' when you arrive in Paris, your only chance to date a Frenchgirl – unless you have that 'thunderbolt moment' in the oh-so-romantic RER B(French tube) – is to go in a nightclub. But winning a French girl's heart in a nightclub is much more complicated than chatting up a girl in London, where it is admittedly much quicker- then again I suppose in it's not so much a question of "heart" here. First of all, don't worry if other guys stare at you as if you were an alien. They are just sizing you up as a potential rival. Therefore, should you want to dominate the male crowd (indeed it is a kind of competition), you have to respect some basic rules : - Do the opposite of what other guys do. That is to say don't be one of those sleazy guys harassing the girls on the dance-floor, just pretend to dance without ulterior motive (key word here being "pretend")... - Then a small (but polite) chat is welcome so that she does not get the impression you think she's "easy" – the ultimate shame for every French girl -. In this connection, compliments are much appreciated, if not not over the top. Your “craquant” (adorable) accent may help you with this. - A last tip ? Eh, no. Do you expect everything to be handed to you on a plate? This is a competition 'mec' : the ball is in your court. 2. A culture of 'non-dit'. Contrary to the very formal Anglo-Saxon concept of dating (1. we date 2. we kiss 3. we are officially in a relationship 4. it's up to you), French girls are not really keen to define their relationship precisely. So don't be depressed if after 5 or 6 dates, you are not explicitly going out with her: French girls play hard to get. As Corneille wrote in 'Le Cid', 'triumph without peril brings no glory', so think how glorious you will be after! I had been dating French girls for months before I came to understand what they wanted from me, whether they were my girlfriend or just a friend. So patience is the key. The fact is that I do believe French girls are not used to being as straight forward as their British counterparts. Therefore, they don't want you to be too insistent, otherwise you could be branded "clingy" or "overbearing". As you let things evolve naturally, you will become one of the French charmers expert in the language of innuendoes and masters at understanding the unspoken. You will live in a state of uncertainty, getting the impression you are beating around the bush, so to speak, but this can have its amusements. So just make her laugh, and as the great philosopher Rihanna says : 'make [her] feel like [she's] the only girl in the world" (although feel free to forego the singer's current skin-tights leather pants and red hair style). 3. The Rosetta Stone of French girls' language I was visiting the Rosetta Stone at the British Museum when I had this idea : if (British) men are from Mars, and (French) Women are from Venus, would it not be my duty to act as translator ? I definitely love the idea that I could become a sort Champollion of Franco-British dating. The truth is that when you ask a French girl out, her answer will not mean what it is supposed to mean. Let me explain with a fantastic table. When asking.....'Do you want to have a drink / go to the cinema with me?' French Girl's Answer : Translation : No, I'm busy Maybe I don't know, Maybe Yes I don't like bars She wants to go to your place Yes That's done the trick ! No answer Sorry, but she's already dating me. You've got to be quick around here! 4. Gallantry You have no choice : you must be charming and chivalrous. In London, I am always surprised by the look of utter amazement on girls faces as I hold the door for them, or carry their luggage. In France, courtship is a must, you can't behave boorishly. Pull out her chair, pay for the date : it is never over the top if it is sincere. It's not being patronizing, it's called being a gentleman, and this is what French girls want their dates to be. And after 'the date', once you are going out with her (let's be optimistic) : forget all your shyness and your shame because French girls love PDA. So don't hesitate to kiss her in crowded places. An (admittedly stupid) group on Facebook is entitled : 'A true boy would show he loves me by kissing me in front of his friends'. Well, this is exaggerated, but it has been created by a French girl: so at least you can get the idea. 5. Calling One of the biggest difference between French and English girls. French ones actually consider that the more the guy phones, the better. So don't hesitate to max out on your calling credit: it just means you care about her. Just left her after a romantic meeting ? Send her a message. You've not seen her the whole day ? Phone her or you will have to face criticism and reproach – by phone, of course -. I have learned that lesson at my own expense. Don't worry about penning her love notes worthy of Victor Hugo- you can, you will never get bad points for doing that, but the main thing is just to show that you're thinking about her. 6. Lucky Britons French girls tend to love British boys, especially the City banker style who wears a tie and carries a leather briefcase. “Trop la classe!” (He's so classy). Want to be one step ahead of French boys? Then turn your back on Wayne Rooney's casual style and embrace your slim fit suit and a nice pair of brogues. I know it's uncomfortable, but nothing comes from nothing, so just do it. Other grounds for being confident : French girls think your atrocious accent is cute. Even if you speak just the slightest bit of French, you get extra brownie points. For more useful sentences to say, click here. It will definitely impress your French date. 7. Last but not least : Sex The fact is that French girls won't be up for having sex on the first date. They are definitely afraid of being considered "sluts". I do believe that the concept of sexual relationships in France is really still quite sexist. Unfairly enough, should a guy have sex with a girl, then he is a hero. Should it be the girl, then she is a whore. As a consequence, at the risk of disappointing you, you will have to wait...And be aware that were she to say 'yes' on the first night, then it would have only two meanings: Either it's just a one-night stand, or....you are very lucky! In conclusion, you will have to be an all-round 'athlete' to seduce a French girl, and maybe you will be turned down several times before succeeding. But the game is worth the reward, I guarantee it. So just persevere ! And if you can't afford a Eurostar ticket, do not forget that a lot of French girls are living in London. Here are the best places to net one. Bonne Chance ! Top 5 places to date a French Girl : 1. Bisous Club at South Kensington A just opened night club called Bisous, located in South Kensington, next to the lycee français Charles de Gaulle, on Queensberry Place, and a favourite of the french crowd in London. Thursday nights labelled "french kiss at Bisous" are already planned for Francophile Londoners... 2. Hang out in the pubs and bars around the King's and UCL campuses These are the most popular London Universities for French students, the best place to find Erasmus girls looking for a bit of British romance. 3. Any bars near Tottenham Court Road Where most of the halls of residents for the above Erasmus students are... 4. The Builders Arms Pub, off Gloucester Road One of the finest and oldest pubs in West London, it is a bustling, vibrant pub with an eclectic mix of patrons. Much appreciated by French people 5. Médiathèque, French Institute, South Kensington Because there's nothing smoother than chatting up a girl while reading Baudelaire. You may also be interested in the following articles: How to date a Frenchman How to flirt in French COMMENTS: 04/02/2013 - s.pollock-hill said : You forgot flowers! Les fleurs du bonheur (not fleurs du mal!). Choose flowers that match her eyes... To say "I found these poor blue hyacinths who are slightly put to shame by the amazing colour of your blue eyes ( or brown eyes sunflowers, etc).Another tip..never give a French girl white lillies, they are funeral flowers in France, except muget lillies of teh valley in English. Always admire a French girl's accent and gently tease her about how sexy it is. Ask her to say the word "sweetheart" , as a direct translation does not exist in French, Cheri ("dearest" is not the same, and "douce coeur" sounds stupid!) Stephan. 17/01/2013 - z.vastron said : Hey Max, thanks for the fbeceadk.Got a HUGE list of books to read, like 100, but I'm going to add these books to the list, and not just the list but actually read them.Behavior modification and alpha bl, hmm. that sounds pretty interesting.Yeah I'm committed to go out daily. I know I'm progressing. 17/01/2013 - ars said : Hi Quinnlin, I'm a friend of your mom's, too. My daguethr is also in Girl Scouts. She has changed troops three times. Like you, she loves Scouting and is now in a troop with girls who work together very well. I'm glad you stuck it out and found a troop with nice girls. It would have been easy to quit but you kept on. That is great! i hope you have a great Scouting year,Siobhan Wolf 17/01/2013 - biuro said : the principles are the same, thugoh how the principles actually apply to people has minor differences between the sexes: this is why we're on the other site There's also a book on body language written by an ex-FBI agent: `Speed Reading the Body', Joe Navarro. This should help you approach more alpha in your bl. Apply everything you learn from this book always. It becomes second nature also (it has for me).The words, as well as what we telegraph by them, will follow. Again, don't give up! And good luck tho luck has nothing to do with it! 19/12/2012 - 2speakers2 said : FRENCH GIRLS LOVE SEX AND PDA (Public Displays of Affection). 29/11/2012 - sales said : Hi Quinnlin, I read your Mom's blog cos I want to be a special needs teechar when I get out of university and so I feel like I've got to know you and your brother just a teeny bit.Anyway, all I wanted to say is that I am a Girl Guide (Girl Scout) leader in England and I am so so glad you found a troop where the girls are nicer to you! I loved being a Girl Guide and I want every girl to have that chance I wouldn't let the mean girls get away with treating you how they did if you'd been in my troop!Best wishes, Katie xx 21/06/2012 - isaiddoiknowyoushesaidgetlost said : haha this is pretty funny. so is this how low intelligence people get along? logical fallacies(countless generalization in this case), defence mechanisms, and all sorts of psychological traps. good laugh 21/05/2012 - s.pollock-hill said : An extra tip from an Englishman who over many years has had the good fortune to date a few very beautiful French girls! They love the "English Gentleman"..... Opening doors in buildings, walking on the outside of the pavement, helping her on and off with her coat,opening the car door for her to slide into...the passenger seat. (But don't allow her to drive your precious sports car - there is a limit!she will drive on the right!). Oh and keep telling her how sexy her English accent is ( not difficult, as it is usually true!), and lastly always carry a clean linen hankerchief ready for when she cries at romantic or sad movies! Works every time! Bonne Chance! Stephan. 23/02/2012 - sambonumber5 said : I have had a french girlfriend and all these points are helpful and true. But i have a dilemma where i actually have fallen for another french girl, and she complimented on my clothes saying i have style. We danced quite a lot together in this club but sometimes she would dance with other guy friends but she would come back to me and dance more differently and maybe more erotic at times, but only slightly, she also gave me the impression that she is playing hard to get as she shakes her finger whilst laughing. My french friend said that " I think she likes you" but i didnt want to jump ahead. But coming towards the end of the night i asked for her name ( couldn't get her number as i have only just got a phone, after my previous was stolen) and i said "do you think i will see you again?" and she said yes you will see me again and gave me a kiss on each cheek, below my lips, smiled and then kissed my head. Is this normal? And i also find out she also has a bf now so i am now in a bad situation haha! 19/11/2010 - saravandore said : Interesting tips - I write The Happiness Project London and have posted it on our FB page: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/pages/The-Happiness-Project-London/221957293238. Sasha @ The Happiness Project London 17/11/2010 - maud.piquet said : sometimes a No means No..Lots of stereotypes indeed and 'urban' not to say parisian take on things!! 16/11/2010 - jadorvivre said : So many stereotypes! But yes, us French girls do like phone calls indeed;-) Sophie, French woman with an English IT guy, not City type. I found the best British guy of the South-East.